As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I wanted to live a life free from regrets. Now that I am in my 40’s I have a rather large number of them, but I also do not feel like I let myself down. When I said “free from regrets”, what I really meant was “wouldn’t go back to change it if I could.” Accumulating regrets is a natural part of living, and although I do regret how things turned out now and again, I respect and understand all my choices that led up to those things. I can’t think of a single one where I look back and genuinely wish I had made another choice.
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Between the Veils issued a public apology regarding their closing ceremonies on February 20, 2023, just five days after I called them out for failure to be accountable. It is a good start, and I am hopeful that BTV is trying do better, but I do have thoughts about the content of that apology.
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One of the community agreements of Between the Veils is accountability. When the closing ceremony of The Gathering Paths 2022 included aspects that were predictably triggering for those with Christian religious trauma, I expected BTV to adhere to its principles of accountability. Instead, here I am six months later, explaining how an otherwise amazing event was spoiled by hypocrisy and lack of integrity.
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Chapter 7 – In the late 80’s my mother deep dove into memory regression therapy. She then attended multiple trauma healing 12 step programs for her “recovered memories”, with all the gravitas of attending social clubs.
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I was the guest on CTCW Otherworldly on speaking ill of the dead. If you missed the live broadcast, you can watch it here.
Read MoreTo my tremendous delight, I will be speaking on CTCW’s Otherworldly show this week! We will be talking about speaking ill of the dead while still respecting the grieving process, and the importance of accountability for healing, growth, and creating social change.
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I am a very strong proponent of Accountability Culture. Accountability is key to personal and community growth, healing and reconciliation, and achieving peaceful intersectional inclusion. Accountability Culture is to Cancel Culture, what Call-In Culture is to Call-Out Culture, in that it holds people responsible for their words and actions, while also providing the opportunity for growth, change, and reconciliation before bringing down the hammer of ultimate judgement and banishment on those who refuse to be accountable.
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How the events of our lives shape reality is a complicated mess of interrelations, cause & effect, random chance, personal choices, & metaphysical impetus.
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Curating, unfriending, blocking, and banning in online spaces creates peace and has magical application for both social justice and personal wellbeing.
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“Closed” traditions, cultural appropriation, race, ethnicity, who does or does not have the right to engage in certain traditions or practices, and how those issues all play into each other, is an incredibly complex topic. Long as this article is, I feel it only barely begins to scratch the surface, but that surface needs to be scratched.
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