It is never too late to set boundaries, to heal, and to respect yourself. That road tends to be long, winding, and full of setbacks, but that is a painfully natural and necessary part of the process. Those setbacks, no matter how many times they happen, and no matter how severe they are, do not define the outcome. You do. So, when you get knocked down, take a rest if you need to, do what you must to take care of yourself, get back up, and keep fighting. You, your happiness, and your wellbeing are worth it.
Read MoreChapter 23 – My situation with my family is tragic, but the tragedy is not found in the act of walking entirely away from them. The tragedy is in the fact that they were not capable of being family that was worth having. I will forever be grateful that I was able to understand that fact, and eventually walked away from them for good.
Read MoreChapter 21 – Chronic manipulation and abuse are difficult enough to deal with when you are well. When I developed a chronic illness, maintaining my boundaries became an even more overwhelming task.
Read MoreI am in a weird place emotionally right now, and in many ways I am struggling. I am wrestling with the demons of old trauma response as I try to find joy, hope, and brevity in my life. Like any time I struggle with trauma response, it is ugly, painful, messy, and difficult. There is no one answer to the problem of finding joy and alleviating the trauma, especially right now.
Read MoreI am a very strong proponent of Accountability Culture. Accountability is key to personal and community growth, healing and reconciliation, and achieving peaceful intersectional inclusion. Accountability Culture is to Cancel Culture, what Call-In Culture is to Call-Out Culture, in that it holds people responsible for their words and actions, while also providing the opportunity for growth, change, and reconciliation before bringing down the hammer of ultimate judgement and banishment on those who refuse to be accountable.
Read MoreSure, haters do not inherently mean you are doing something wrong, but they also do not inherently mean you are doing something right.
Read MoreAs cases of COVID-19 are surging throughout the United States, I cannot help but wonder about my birth family, how they are faring, and if they are safe. It is a strange thing to have no idea, to be aware that I may never know, to be glad for the estrangement which prevents that knowledge, and yet to wonder and hope that they are well. It creates a paradox of conflicting emotions, a cognitive dissonance, to be so concerned, and yet know that it is far and away in my best interest to retain the distance of estrangement I created.
Read MoreInstead of promoting healing, toxic forgiveness usually gives perpetrators a free pass on bad behavior and allows toxic or abusive situations to continue.
Read MoreThese are my personal reasons for not formally venerating my ancestors, and some things I have done instead to root my practice and connect with death.
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