As far back as I can remember into my childhood, I wanted to live a life free from regrets. Now that I am in my 40’s I have a rather large number of them, but I also do not feel like I let myself down. When I said “free from regrets”, what I really meant was “wouldn’t go back to change it if I could.” Accumulating regrets is a natural part of living, and although I do regret how things turned out now and again, I respect and understand all my choices that led up to those things. I can’t think of a single one where I look back and genuinely wish I had made another choice.
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Deluding yourself, lying to yourself, might seem bad, but it can feel amazingly good. It allows us to have hope and feel good about bad situations, helps to cushion the psyche against ongoing trauma and abuse, and helps us keep equilibrium in difficult situations.
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On Wednesday, June 16, 2021 I was once again a guest of CTCW Otherworldly, this time talking about ghost cats and reincarnation! I started off retelling the tale of how I encountered an entire litter of ghost kittens when we rescued a tiny lost kitten that was threatened by a tomcat, and how one of those ghost cats later decided to reincarnate as a cat I adopted in the physical world. After that we ambled into talking about the nature of cat souls, my personal take on familiars as fellow witches, and some of my theories on the nature of reincarnation and spiritual evolution. At the end of the video, one of the viewers talked about some of her experiences communicating with the ghosts of animals, including a beloved little rat named Lola, who is a psychopomp that has guided many other animals to the other side.
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Anger is an incredibly powerful emotion, and at the same time an incredibly tricky emotion to wield in healthy ways. It is a volatile fuel that is usually unsustainable and will burn you if you try to hold it for too long, but when given healthy space, that same volatile fuel will naturally burn itself out and can facilitate the most amazing transformations.
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I was the guest on CTCW Otherworldly on speaking ill of the dead. If you missed the live broadcast, you can watch it here.
Read MoreTo my tremendous delight, I will be speaking on CTCW’s Otherworldly show this week! We will be talking about speaking ill of the dead while still respecting the grieving process, and the importance of accountability for healing, growth, and creating social change.
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How the concept of “don’t speak ill of the dead” is typically utilized is fraught with dismissal and erasure. Every time someone problematic dies, it is nearly inevitable to hear statements of “don’t speak ill of the dead,” but who does that idea serve? What benefit does it have? Certainly, if we want to learn from the past and honor those who have been harmed by people now deceased, we must speak honestly of the dead, even if being honest means speaking ill.
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The Lament for the Lost commemorates different kinds of major losses that have been suffered, from lives, to livelihoods, normalcy, dignity, and sanity.
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Instead of promoting healing, toxic forgiveness usually gives perpetrators a free pass on bad behavior and allows toxic or abusive situations to continue.
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These are my personal reasons for not formally venerating my ancestors, and some things I have done instead to root my practice and connect with death.
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