In therapy last week I realized that I had moved on from my childhood trauma, but I never went back to validate and heal who I was at the time. Essentially, I treated the younger version of me exactly the way they had been taught to expect the world to treat them – with utter and complete abandonment. No more. ALL of me deserves validation and healing, and so I am making the dedication on this full moon to accept and nurture the younger me.

I was not awful or unlovable, as I believed myself to be. The things that made me difficult to be around were entirely born of trauma response, in no way my fault, and in no way an inherent part of who I was at the core of my being. Who I knew myself to be, including the things I hated about myself, allowed me to navigate my life as best I could when I had no control over my circumstances. My decision at that point in my life to embark on a healing journey made it possible for me to be the person I am today, and the person I will be years from now.

For that I am eternally grateful.

On This Full Moon

On this full moon,
I do not simply move on,
leaving my trauma buried with the me
who was deeply flawed
but did the best they could.

On this full moon,
I refuse to abandon the younger version of myself,
who had already been abandoned by everyone
who should have been there.

On this full moon,
I embrace and validate the traumatized parts of me
that were shaped by childhood neglect and abuse.

On this full moon,
I find healing throughout my whole self
by giving myself grace and acceptance
for all that I was,
that I am,
and that I will be.

-Sidney Eileen

The art is half of a diptych drawing I created many years ago. Colored pencil on black paper. Poem is new.

Feel free to share the graphic and poem. No personal permission required. I am sharing them with the internet because I am certain I am not alone in this sentiment, or the need for this kind of healing.